S is for Snake

If you know me, then you know that I have a serious, serious fear of snakes.  I don't even like looking at pictures of them.  I'm not really for sure when or why I became so afraid of them, but I do have a vague recollection of a snake in my parents garden and my dad having to chop it's head off with a shovel.  Ahhh ... memories.

So, you can imagine my hesitation as I took a stroll with Jackson through the park next to us and came upon a sign by the trail entrance that said "beware of snakes".  HOLD THE PHONE. California has snakes?

I immediately turned the stroller around and went home and told Jared about the sign.  He laughed at me and said "uhm, yes there are snakes here, it is a desert state".  In my opinion if you live by the ocean there should be no snakes.  Sharks, yes.  Snakes, no.

I told one of the moms in my mom's group about the sign and she said that she was walking in the hills the other day and ran across two rattle snakes.  And then another mom said "oh, yeah, I see them every where".

WHAT?  I have a serious problem with this.  Serious problem.  I have been having nightmares the past few days about snakes b/c of this.  Nightmares- like the kind you wake up from sweating.

So, instead of being an adult about the situation and realizing that snake are more scared of you then you are of them, I am going to be completely unreasonable and ridiculous.  Here is what I'm going to do.

1.) I am never going walking in the hills or mountains.  Sorry, not gonna do it.

2.) When I take Jackson for a walk on the park trail, I am going to stay in middle of the path and constantly sweep my eyes back and forth along the path ahead looking for snakes.  If I see one ahead, I will immediately stop, turn, and run like a crazy, mad woman.

3.) I am going to take Oliver to a snake avoidance class to teach him to stay away from snakes.  Actually, let me rephrase that.  Jared will be taking him to this class. I will be at home in the house where it is snake free.

4.) I am going to write a letter to Governor Brown recommending that all snakes be relocated to another state.  I'm sure he'll understand and oblige.